scribblescourge:

My mother just came with the groceries and I opened the door and without thinking asked “swiggity swag what’s in the bag” and she replied “bip boop bop bread and flip-flops

leeeeverett:

today these two kids in my math class were hitting each other with pencils and my teacher glared at them and said “could you try to be a little more mature?”

one of them screamed “TAXES” and punched the other kid in the face

coolpng:

my dad has a folder on his computer named Cool Dad and it’s just pictures of himself

thedramaticsneeze:

destiel:

hayitstommo:

FANDOM DOWN. I REPEAT, FANDOM DOWN.

its not just the fandom thats hit the ground recently

TOO SOON

breadzepplin:

those kids who blow their nose in the middle of class and you can hear every possible specimen ever coming out of them

(Source: microwayne)

the-winchester-initiative:

captainamericasbiggestfan:

Did you really just put one of our pain meds as a cage?

fullmetal-dipshit:

ozzyosborntodie:

“you’re a virgin, so obviously you know nothing about sex”